I think I hear crickets chirping here on my blog.................It really has been that long since I have been back to pay any due love to my little blog, tsk, tsk!

Well, I feel like I should inform you all that a few things may have changed since my last post. The entrepreneurial fire is still there, and in fact, burning stronger than ever before. However, I do seem to have found a bit of confidence that I had previously lacked and an overwhelming desire to make a name for myself on the basis that I will never be truly happy until my focus has been put to good use. Over the course of this past year I have continued to flit to different jobs, waiting to feel that fulfillment that I so dearly crave. It took me quite awhile to realize that what I am looking for cannot be found in the world of corporate cubicle drones and permanently-happy and sickeningly-accommodating sales quips. No matter how enticing the employee discounts, or how great (or terrible!) the hours/paycheck, I was suffocating! Cue the minor meltdown complete with tears, fits of jealousy for so called "happy people", eating full containers of Cool Whip, pity-poor-me parties, and finally the realization that..

I WAS STANDING IN MY OWN WAY!! ME!! I WAS THE PROBLEM!!

Have you ever had a realization hit you with such force that it literally changes your whole focus on life?! Gone was the need to prove myself to a "boss". Why expect the adoration of someone else when I don't currently adore myself? The question literally sliced right through my lengthy personal battle of what ifs, how comes, and why can't I have/feel/do that? Why was I seeking to impress someone else when, really lets face it, no one wants to answer to someone else their entire life. Now, I will backpedal here slightly to state that being "happily employed" is not something that I alone hold the definition to, I merely have realized that punching in on someone else's timeclock reaffirmed that I was waiting for some magic moment where I felt justified for being there.

Long story short, I have realized over the past year that I have a lot to lose out on by not taking a leap. Having faith in myself has already improved my outlook on my future, something I have to admit became increasingly foggy the more I expected things to happen for me rather than investing any effort to shape it myself. This is my stand and my promise, that from here on out, I get out of my own way, that I realize how to step up and take control. I'm not denying that there will still be many struggles ahead, but for the first time in a long time I can say that I am ready to face them.